19

________

 

Une heure plus tard, bourré de came et dérivant vers le sommeil, tandis que les hurlements du vent lui paraissaient maintenant plus apaisants qu’effrayants, il pensa : Jamais je ne pourrai m’enfuir. Pas moyen. Qu’est-ce que dit déjà Thomas Hardy dans Jude l’Obscur ? « Quelqu’un aurait pu venir et calmer les angoisses de l’enfant, mais personne ne le fit… car jamais personne ne le fait. » Exact. Très vrai. Pas la peine d’attendre le bateau, il n’y a plus de bateau. Les redresseurs de tort sont trop occupés à faire de la pub pour des céréales et Superman tourne un film dans des décors en carton-pâte. Tu es livré à toi-même, mon petit Paul. Faut te débrouiller tout seul, absolument tout seul. Mais c’est peut-être très bien comme ça. Parce qu’au fond, qui sait si tu ne connais pas la réponse, hein ?

Oui, bien sûr, il la connaissait.

S’il voulait sortir de là, il fallait tuer.

Oui. C’est ça la réponse. La seule réponse qui reste, je crois bien. C’est donc toujours le même jeu, comme autrefois ? Paulie… Sauras-tu ?

Il répondit sans la moindre hésitation : Oui, je saurai.

Ses paupières se fermèrent lentement. Il s’endormit.

 

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